[Starting this New Year's on, thank you for all the "cheering" cards.]
[Viewer comments are very important. By the way, why is the background all black?]
["What Happens Twice, Happens Thrice"]
Huh? What's this...? The sky is all black...
Huh? I'm the one all black...
Huh? Has something like this happened before? Huh?
Wake up.
Your hidden power... The time to awaken it has finally come.
Open...your eyes...to the gateway of your true potential...
Wake up...
Huh? Where are we?
Good morning. What's this? Where are we?
"What's this"? I don't know. When I woke up this morning, I was in this place.
Is there a power outage?
Even if it's a power outage, I can see you all very clearly.
It's a strange dusty place. I'm covered with dust.
Whatever! I have a hangover, you know.
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go back to sleep. Shinpachi, heat the bathwater.
No, wait, Gin-san. There's no bath.
Shinpachi, cook some food.
Today is your turn to cook, Kagura-chan!
Whatever! I wonder if this is all a dream...
I'll go back sleep, too.
Wake up... Your hidden power... The time to awaken it has finally come.
Shut up. Who set the weird alarm?
This is the time to wake up.
It's still eight in the morning! Let me sleep two more hours at least, idiot.
No, well...it's not an alarm...
Kagura-chan, you're grinding your teeth too loud!
Excuse me, but please listen to me. Um... Well, wake up!
Excuse me, please wake up! Excuse me, please listen! Everyone!
I said wake up already!
Cut it out!
How could you fall back to sleep in another world?!
You must've read it in the atmosphere!
Didn't you notice that it's not quite normal, you idiots?!
Gin-san! Gin-san, please wake up.
What the...? Geez, shut up.
There's a strange man...
You finally woke up.
Welcome to my world. Finally, the time for you to awaken has arrived.
Huh? Who are you?
Don't you know, Gintoki?
I'm with you all the time.
I'm your blade, which you've used to overcome many hardships.
[Toya]
My name is...Lake Toya!
[Note: Spoof of Zangetsu from BLEACH.]
The spirit of Lake Toya?
Well, you can call me that, too.
Gintoki, as I am the closest to you, I know...that you're strong...
No one in history has been able to use me like you do. But...but...
It's still not enough! You can still become stronger!
You haven't tapped my full power yet!
Do you want to become stronger, Gintoki?
No, I'm not interested.
...Huh? Eh? What did you just say?
Well... You're so annoying. I'm sorry. My head really hurts, so sorry...
Huh? No, but... What?
The show is past its second year, so isn't it about time to develop an ultimate technique?
If I do say so myself, it's really useful. Let me teach it to you.
Excuse me, but today is our regular day off, so can we go home?
No...well...it's far more useful than you think.
If you learn it, you'll be able to use it repeatedly. And it'll help the anime artists, too.
And, most of all, you'll easily be able to make a big scene...
Shut up, you bastard! Just return us to our world right now!
...I see... Well, it's fine with me if you don't want to...
Really... It's not like I was asked to do it, anyway...
Well... I just called you on my own... I'm sorry for making a mess...
But let me just tell you...
...If you ask me to teach you the ultimate technique later, it'll be too late.
This is a one-time only offer. I definitely won't teach it to you later.
Ah, it's like a New Year's bargain. It's a shame to miss out.
Zenkai or Fuusenmaru is really useful...
[Note: Zenkai and Fuusenmaru are from BLEACH.]
You know...
Just say, "please teach it to us"!
You don't need an ultimate technique? Don't you have any ambition?!
Why are you sleeping for the third time in front of a spirit?!
Even on your day off, you hardly ever fall back to sleep three times!
Hey! Wake up, you guys!
That's enough! If you don't wake up within three seconds, I'll kick you in the thigh!
Seriously! I'll really do it! You won't be able to walk!
Here we go! One... Hey, hey, the countdown to hell has just started.
Ah, it's so scary! And two! Ah, there's only one second left!
I'm counting! Really! And three!
Come on! I'm making an announcement! An announcement!
Let me give you five more seconds!
It's a special rule that gives you another five seconds...
Shut up!
What's with you?! Tell us straight...exactly what are you trying to do?
I'll tell it to you straight.
You're not too bad if you can hurt a spirit's legs... But you're still too green.
You'll be able to get stronger.
I'll tell it to you straight...we became strong enough to make a spirit's eyes tear up, so that's enough for us.
Please let us return home.
If you learn the ultimate technique, you'll be able to not only affect the eyes,
but also the nose and mouth.
It'll be possible to bring forth bodily fluids from every orifice.
Sounds like it's your ultimate technique.
Why are you adamantly refusing to learn the ultimate technique?
What? Are you just shy? Or are you ashamed to shout out the ultimate technique's name?
Everyone needs to have patience when learning it.
The important thing is getting used to using it.
I wonder why this guy is so adamant about teaching us the ultimate technique.
Perhaps an enemy stronger than anything you have ever faced will appear.
You can't survive without this ultimate technique.
And I'll be in trouble if something happens to my master.
In addition, if this anime is released as a fighting game,
it'll be too plain if it doesn't have an ultimate technique.
Think about the business aspect.
Don't you know how hard a time Bandai's had?
[Note: Namco-Bandai is the parent company of Sunrise, which is the studio that animates GinTama.]
You worry about things beyond your control!
If you still refuse to learn the ultimate technique, I have an idea.
I won't return you to your world until you learn it.
Forever... You'll be stuck in this world.
Ah, that's fine. Some food...
We'll stay here for a while.
Well...it's not like "a while," but forever...
Ah, hey, don't open the refrigerator without asking permission.
What? We won't be able to leave here ever, right?
Then it's all right to open the refrigerator... Whoa! This miso is moldy.
Whoa! No, wait... Ah, I bought that to eat after my bath...
Anyway, there's no way we can live in a dirty room like this.
It's filled with dust. I guess I'll have to clean up.
There're a lot of weird books under the bed.
Ah! Hey! Don't touch anything in my room without asking permission!
Stop! Please stop it!
Hey, there's a lot of curly hairs on the floor.
I wonder what this is...
No! That's wrong! Those are from my pet. They're not mine...
I can smell some strange odors coming from the trash.
There're so many rolled up tissues in there.
No! That's not right! That is, you know... I ate grilled squid yesterday! That's it!
Please just be quiet! Don't move around.
Where did you buy those sunglasses?
Go home! Go home, you guys!
What? I thought we would never, ever leave this place, right?
No, please go home!
Never mind about the ultimate technique or anything else.
Just go home, please!
I was kindly offering to teach you the ultimate technique!
But if you are just going to make a big mess, please go home, already!
I don't care anymore! I really don't care whether you die!
Please go...
...home...
Why are you saying such selfish things?!
Lake Toya Spirit!
You invited all your friends here, so how can you say "everyone go home"?
You can't make any friends because you do things like this!
M-Mom...
Somehow...the mother appeared... the mother of the spirit...
That's not your business, Mom. Stop being so nosy.
The reason why I can't make any friends is because Daddy's had so many job transfers.
Don't blame everything on his transfers!
Daddy has his own circumstances with his job!
Why does his mom have a beard?
I'm really sorry, everyone.
He changes schools a lot, so he doesn't know how to make friends.
Please don't hate him. He's basically a good boy.
That's all right. Don't worry about it.
Um...I'm sorry to ask you something like this,
but could you learn the ultimate technique from him?
Hey! Lake Toya, come over here!
Please teach us the ultimate technique!
Hey! Everyone wants to learn the ultimate technique!
What are you doing, Lake Toya?! Hurry up and get over here.
No, it's all right...really...
What do you mean, "It's all right"?!
You were the one who called everyone over so you could teach them the ultimate technique, right?!
Come on, what are you doing?
I just said "it's all right"!
This is... This just isn't the right time for me to teach anyone the ultimate technique!
I look really pathetic!
What are you talking about?!
To-kun, you look so cool! Mom thinks you're really cool, too!
And these guys don't look like they really want to learn any ultimate technique! So no way!
What are you saying, To-kun?!
I know you worked really hard to think up the ultimate technique!
Mom knows all about that! You worked really hard!
I already said, "no way"! You're so annoying!
What do you mean "annoying"?! Come on!
Do your ultimate technique for Mom! Let's show them what it looks like!
No, no! They're watching us! It's too embarrassing. You're so annoying!
What do you mean "annoying"?!
I mean...
You're really annoying... Jumbolic Magnum!
Ah...he did the ultimate technique on his mother.
Oh! Mom!
Yes...that's it...
To-kun...
Mom!
Hey, I'm home.
I just got home.
D-Dad...
Y-You... Your mom...
That! There! What did you do to your mother?! Jack Nicolle Cannon!
[Note: Refers to the actor, Jack Nicholson.]
To-To-kun...
This is the time...for you to be free of the curse of your father having to transfer so many times...
Defeat...your father...
Jumbolic...
...Jack Nicolle...
No way! You'll break up the family.
Ouch!
Ow...
Ow... It seems you have completely mastered that.
That's your ultimate technique... the "Thigh Kick."
Who needs it?!
Huh? What's this? The sky is all white...
Huh? I'm the one all white...
Huh? I think something like this also happened last New Year's day... Huh?
Wake up.
Gently open...your eyes and...
...the door to the closed-off world...
Wake up...
What's this?
Hey, Toshi, what's going on?
I don't know. When I awoke this morning, I was in this place.
It must be a dream.
I'm sorry, but I'm going back to sleep.
Sogo, cook some food.
Did you hear that, Hijikata?
But why me?!
It's ridiculous. I'll go back to sleep, too.
Wake up... I said, wake up...
Mom, you're so absent-minded. It's still the New Year's holiday.
There's no school today.
Come on. I'm not going to wake up just because someone orders me to.
Wake up. It's time for you to wake up. Open your eyes.
Well, excuse me. Could you please wake up?
U-Um...
I can't remember when I last slept this long.
You seem to have finally awakened.
You're...
Yes, I'm...
[Note: She looks like Orihime from BLEACH.]
Aren't you cold? It's the dead of winter.
Huh? Well...I'm...
Yeah, yeah. You can tell us at the police station.
Huh?
You are under arrest for indecent exposure. You're too flashy.
No, wait.
Can you stop talking like I'm a pervert?!
I'm not. I'm different from those degenerate...
I'm a real...
A real degenerate?
Wh-!
If that's the case, we have a real sadist.
We have a guy who's a real dog-food maniac, too.
Who are you talking about?
Don't make fun of mayonnaise, you bastard!
Please listen to my story.
I'm neither a degenerate nor a human being.
I'm a goddess...
...your Goddess of Victory.
S-Sogo...
Well...
She says that she's not human, but a goddess.
If that's the case, we should get serious.
No need to worry.
People like her will recant after a bit of punishment.
I said I'm a true goddess!
Moreover, there's the weird white background.
Can't you understand the situation?!
That reminds me... I didn't see any background for a while.
I thought it was because the anime staff was slacking off.
If you understand, then please remove these handcuffs!
No, I still don't know.
What's the connection between a white background and a degenerate?
Anyway, you're under arrest.
Just give up, and tell us the way back to our police station!
What are you talking about?
I've never heard of a goddess being arrested!
Well, we have.
Not just a goddess, but also death gods, lords and even streakers.
We've caught them all before.
Toshi, Sogo, stop it.
Kondo-san...?!
Why are you crying?
That is a real goddess.
So, you finally realize that I'm a goddess.
Yes, you've had it really tough during your life.
Wait! That's my diary!
I read it very carefully. You really had a hard time.
No, give it back to me!
Please give it back! Oh, no!
For all these reasons, she went through many hardships.
There's room for leniency!
You mean, I'm still a criminal?!
Of course.
Be quiet.
No kidding. I'm really mad now.
You guys live here the rest of your lives!
I don't care anymore!
I'll devote the rest of my life to you!
So, even if you want to break up, I will refuse!
What's this?
Is this a new type of masochism?
No, it looks like she's had really bad luck with men.
She's the type who loves a miserable situation.
That's why she was taken advantage of.
Everyone, the meal is ready!
It looks like we've been put in a strange situation.
This is a real farce with that indecent woman.
No, she's a goddess. It looks like she's a real goddess.
What should we do, Kondo-san? She's acting like a new wife.
Are you going to play the role of the husband, Chief?
Don't say such a stupid thing!
I have Otae-san, the only woman in my heart.
There's no way something like that could happen!
You say that, but you look like you're ready to join in the farce.
Then Hijikata-san, you'll be the treacherous mother-in-law.
Hey, but I'm a man.
And I'll be the corrupted fool who behaves improperly.
So-kun, what are you doing?
Shut up.
I need the money!
But if you take it without asking, the goddess will be upset!
I'm left with party tickets to sell!
[Note: A party ticket is a ticket for a certain event sold amongst college students.]
I'll be in trouble if I don't sell them!
Are you saying I should threaten to rob my friends?
I didn't say anything like that...
Then leave me alone!
No! Anything but that money!
Shut up!
What kind of play is this?
Stop!
Huh...?
Don't raise your hand to the goddess! I won't forgive you!
Stop! You misunderstand! So-chan didn't do anything bad!
Since when did I become "So-chan"?
I've always admired you, Goddess... Your innocent smile...
...and that slightly melancholic beauty mark.
I've always been watching you from the shadows.
That's stalking!
You're one to talk...
Huh?
What the heck is going on here?
Let me explain.
He's the Angel of Death.
Two years ago, his affairs were uncovered, and they broke up.
But they're growing to like each other again.
No, I'm the Angel of Death.
Ma-Manager?!
Another strange man has shown up.
By the way, I'm the God of Poverty!
But it's strange. I didn't have any affairs.
Ah, then it's probably that!
Two years ago, right after you lived in sin, he started committing domestic violence.
No, that was me.
[Note: Parody of Ichigo from BLEACH.]
The Soul Reaper! Why have you come here?!
Not just me...
Meifushin, Kijin, hakaijin, and Sake no kami ...
[Note: Refers to the God of Netherworld, God of Destruction, Sake no kami (God of Wine).]
I heard you've been dating all of them for the last two years.
What?! There's no way a goddess would do something like that.
I didn't hear anything like that!
W-Well...
There's not a single decent god...
Anyway, how can she handle herself around all these people and still keep it a secret?
Because she's a goddess? Or, rather, she's a terrible bitch.
I told you... She's had many hardships, hasn't she?
I've lost everything...
I know it's all my fault.
But I was lonely...
Because I'm a goddess, I can be a little greedy.
Sadist Mode Change.
[Note: Spoof of Kamen Rider Den-O.]
If you lost it, then just get it back.
That's true! Yes!
I'm the Goddess of Victory! I'll just take back what I lost!
With my own power! I'll win over my happiness with my own power!
What?!
Go for it! Oh!
Like this... In order to ensure my true love and happiness,
I worked my best to fight...
...and I kept fighting and fighting...
...and got lots of men.
And I realized that working hard is so beautiful...
...period. Huh? Was this a composition?
P.S. I'll be as happy as I can...
The next episode... "The More Delicious the Food, the Nastier It Is When It Goes Bad."
[Food safety is a big issue these days. And this social anime will take a closer look at it.]
[Forget it... GinTama is not that kind of show. But does GinTama have a safety problem?!]